Call me Yamhill

The Young of the Old

I sit in place and watch as the world changes, gas prices up, new president, new laws and rules. My friends get older, the class of 08 has reached the peak and has come into the real world.
Whats changed? I dont know. I still sit. Waiting for the amazing thing that I think of, knowing not what it will be.
Get married? Death, more friends?
Everyone grows and and starts the path towards heaven and hell, I dont want to go that way, there should be more of a purpose for my life,soul, being and body.
What can I do besides grow slowly and ooze the poison of the life I follow.
Tis there nothing more than to drink and lose friends and the lifestyle that has died out but for a few?
Cant really figure it out, I am thinking that I will get sum more money and then cut lose, jump on a bike and try to wander the countryside, see what is out there, and at the point I realize that home is just as good and or better I shall return and set my roots. I have friends that I worry about, there style of life, the things they try, but I sit back for a moment and see that it is a mirror image of me! I do the things they do and enjoy what they enjoy.
You can only live on the edge for so long, you fall off or fall to the side and stand up alive.
God is the restart point, you fail, fall, despise, stand up and repeat, and each time you will fall into his hands again. Now'a days the only time I say a prayer is when I'm in trouble and wish his blessings upon my situation.
Sick of me.
I thought to my self that I would like a girlfriend, that in fact having one would settle me down in my wild and wayward habits and practices. This being said it would be true, if I can find one that is stronger than me and willing to hold me back and keep the relationship true and strong, I am nothing more than a little child in a young mans body. The fickel reason for the girlfriend subject is to have some one to hold, hands and body, to kiss lightly in the summers breeze, to nap with in the park on a do nothing day, drive up into the hills to see what is around that next corner, to jump into one of the lakes to cool off and come out of the water dripping and laughing because that person is there to look at.
To grow with and cry with, to watch the world become a more bitter place, but feel safe because you can hold there hand and talk about anything.
That is perhaps a reason I resist such a relationship, because at this point who could do that? I want someone for shallow reasons when it needs to be more than that. To lust is one thing, nothing but short gratification and long heart ach, even when lust is turned into love, it could and prob will still turn lackluster.

So I drink a beer in honor of my friend Belt and fall asleep knowing or not that I will find my girl one day, and she will find a man she can love, but for now I am a boy.

posted by Yamhill @ 3:53 AM