Call me Yamhill

To The Woman of my heart

Forward:
The reason for this rambling is to help sort thru my thoughts, my feelings and my heartfelt woe that, on occasion takes one for a ride, such is life, as it is said.




(From the mind of a male)
For me, at the end of the day, despite all the goes on, in my head, in my heart, at work and on the street.When I could come home, to you, that is what happiness would represent. Despite what property surrounds us, the city, the country, wealth or poverty.That will be home. Today  I can hardly tell if this is a dream, which each morning I hope that it truly is, but when I feel the hurt in my chest, I know it, sadly is not a dream.
      The question of the day, as brought to my attention by you, is the term known as "happiness"
For me, it is the presence of certain things, many of which are youthful folly and some of which will carry weight latter on in life. The difference of the term, across the range of people is great, for some it will be personal items, job positions and responsibility,  the worldly wealth, for others it will be family, friends, personal/interpersonal relationships. Many people consider them selves wealthy beyond measure because of there friends, family and the difference they can make for others. For these few it is much more rewarding.
     My dealings with it have been both, caught up with the items of my surroundings, the mechanical items, the surroundings of my youth, the familiarity of  my area and the comfort I have found in the lack of change. It has been asked many times, by many people over the past decade, what is, and will be important to me in my future life. We can never change the past, only the future, and that is a fact (in my humble opinion). Which at times is horrible,horrific, heartrending and creates great discordance and despair in ones heart.
     In the events of the past few years, and perhaps of my adulthood, the ups and downs of life are such that it is a high, a low and in-between. The mental health that corresponds with the understanding of what is going on in life and in the heart is critical to a balance what I will call happiness, sorting thru priority's and arrangements on the hierarchy of needs to live ones life. What I crave to give you, and anyone else who is around me is understanding of how I feel, the truth, not a facade, not a mask, but the feelings that pour from my head. Sometimes in a dizzy and incoherent fashion, and some times cold and hard. Very often addled with hormones, anger, love, despair and rage.



                                               To be further thought.

posted by Yamhill @ 12:38 AM