Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Again my heart bleeds

The night, I awake in a sweat. What is wrong???? Why do I have a bad feeling, a pain in my gut, as well as my heart? This was during the Mexico trip I went on, it was a wonderful trip, where I got to spend a large amount of time with people I love and God. But on one of the nights I awoke with the symptoms listed above. I wondered what had happend. But I did not know, or really think about it.
Today, well, I mean on the 4th I went and bucked hay, and during this hay bucking I learn somthing that tells me why one of my nights was so painful.
I learned somthing that will haunt me forever, and over time it will fade, but for another person it means even more pain, in the long run it will haunt them also.
It would seem that people would POSES the smallest amount of common sense, but time and time again I am amazed how people do not harness it or even think about it. I mean. COME ON. How Dumb can you be.
As one person told me to stay out of it, to let it be, "if you care about her, then you stay out of it" To this I reply, BULLSHIT. If you are a friend that will stand by and let one of your "best friends" get hurt with out trying to help them, then you don't derserve that title. You should care, take an active stand and at least give them your opinion. It seems at time like I care to much about such things, but I have a sourse of love that is the deepest in the world, and that stems from my God. I try to love everyone, and I know I fail that many times, but for Many people I do love, I want to share that love, and wisdom that has been granted me. So even as it would seem that I care to much at times, it is natural for me to do so, and I wont stop.
For you people that read my blogs, thank you so much, I am comforted that I get responses from persons say how they will talk to me when ever I would need to if I have problems. God Bless.

P.S.
As most of you my have noticed you prob have never seen me Really and truly rilled up and pissed off, and you also know I have only got into one real fight, and that was when I was little. But I do feel like going and beating the everlasting shit out of someone. As it is said, "Don't Mess with Texas". But with me, "Dont' screw with my friends". This is bad, and I dont think I will go looking for a fight, but the pull is strong, As someone has screwed with my friends.

P.P.S
It was pointed out to me that it seems like I own the person I am talking about, and in a sense I do have a claim, I am friends with that person, I have a realtionship, and I care about them, I think that gives me enought ownership to attempt to do something.

Old, but makes sense for the one above

I can guess, but why be kept a secret from me. Does someone fear that I will not approve, why should what I think matter? So as not to lose a realtionship, or so that I will not attempt to kill it off. But just from seeing three encounters and two myspace things, I have guessed. The creepthing/ what is bad is. The day on what they started to become closer I felt a empty space, a space which has left fear, fear of what might happend, fear of the wreaked life, fear that someone might finish there devious task, one that no MAN should ever endvor in.
Why do people put me in such places, why am I doing what seems allright, and then something, or person should come and destory it, or them. It will be not as the person sees it, I have seen the Boy in action, it has sickened me time and time again, and yet I have done nothing, but this time, it has come to the end, WHY SHOULD I STAND BY AS HE DESTROYS ONE OF MY BELOVED FRIENDS?
So as much as I have said, and felt, nothing can make more of a difference that prayer, I shall pray, and pray.
But as As much as that is said, i will, upon my oath, attempt, and succed in stoping what I view as somthing imora and in the most shameless way takeing what is NOT HIS.

To who may ever read this.
The Sniper of Yamhill

P.S if you are the person I am talking about, then, by allmeans, WATCH OUT.